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Anger Management for Everyone: Ten Proven Strategies to Help You Control Anger and Live a Happier Life

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Review

“Anger is a problem that people face on a regular basis, and learning how to recognize, talk back to your anger, and use skills to cope with frustration can save your job, your relationship, or even your life. This second edition of Anger Management for Everyone by Raymond Chip Tafrate and Howard Kassinove is an excellent, clear, and practical guide to each step in recognizing your anger, developing the motivation to change, and how to immediately use a wide range of techniques to turn down the heat. Each chapter has a summary of the main points, and there are online resources that enhance the value of this important book. I will recommend this to my clients and colleagues.” —Robert L. Leahy, PhD, director at the American Institute for Cognitive Therapy, and author of The Worry Cure and The Jealousy Cure (Robert L. Leahy, PhD)“Great book on anger from two leading experts in the field! The best resource for anyone looking to better manage their anger and frustration, and live a happier, more fulfilling life.” —Denis G. Sukhodolsky, PhD, ABPP, associate professor in the department of psychiatry at the Yale University School of Medicine, director of the Evidence-Based Practice Unit at the Yale Child Study Center, and coauthor of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy for Anger and Aggression in Children (Denis G. Sukhodolsky, PhD, ABPP)“I always say that there are two kinds of people in the world: people with issues, and dead people. In other words, as long as you’re alive, you have issues, and anger is certainly one of them. Anger Management for Everyone is a book you definitely need, because it shows you specifically how to handle the anger that inevitably comes your way. Howard Kassinove and Raymond Chip Tafrate are pioneers in the field of anger management, and when you follow the very practical advice they offer here, you will handle the inescapable anger in your life in a much better way.” —Christian Conte, PhD, level V anger management specialist, host of the radio show Emotional Management with Dr. Christian Conte, and coauthor of Anger Management Workbook (Christian Conte, PhD)“This second addition from Tafrate and Kassinove is a superb self-help guidebook for folks interested in learning strategies for reducing their anger and maximizing the positive outcomes of challenging situations. The reader is easily engaged in rethinking their anger triggers and better understanding their own anger responses. Based on sound cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) theory, the authors provide numerous everyday examples of anger triggers and multiple options for being “SMART”: Selection Menu for Anger Reduction Training. This edition includes an emphasis of mindfulness and meditation for relaxation, and methods for letting go of previously held anger. Delivered as a self-help workbook with numerous exercises that facilitate an individualized plan for anger management, there are also downloadable chapters for additional resources. This is a book that I will most certainly suggest to many of my own clients who would benefit from practical and effective intervention ideas.” —Eva L. Feindler, PhD, professor in the department of psychology at Long Island University, and program director for clinical psychology of the Long Island University doctoral program. She is author, coauthor, and editor of numerous books, including Adolescent Anger Control, Adolescent Behavior Therapy Handbook, Assessment of Family Violence, and Anger-Related Disorders (Eva L. Feindler, PhD)“Few people on the planet have a better understanding of anger and how to manage it than Raymond Chip Tafrate and Howard Kassinove. In this wonderfully written second edition of Anger Management for Everyone, they guide readers to a deep understanding of their anger, and provide a treasure trove of strategies for working with it. This second edition incorporates new strategies based upon our growing understanding of anger and how best to treat it. Highly recommended for anyone who struggles with anger, as well as anyone who seeks to understand and help them.” —Russell Kolts, PhD, professor in the department of psychology at Eastern Washington University, author of The Compassionate-Mind Guide to Managing Your Anger, and coauthor of Experiencing Compassion-Focused Therapy from the Inside Out (Russell Kolts, PhD)“Intense anger is among the most destructive of human emotions. Opposite of what most people believe, there are psychological treatments that can control, reduce, and even eliminate it completely. In this amazing self-help book, professors Tafrate and Kassinove—leaders in this field—will teach you the best strategies and techniques to overcome anger. This type of therapy is empirically supported by the most recent research, while at the same time being effectively delivered to you step by step, with truly clear language. Not only will you overcome anger, but you will enjoy reading this book too.” —Juan Sevillá and Carmen Pastor, clinical psychologists and directors at the Center of Behavior Therapy of Valencia (Spain), and coauthors of Taming the Dragon (Juan Sevillá and Carmen Pastor)“Tafrate and Kassinove’s Anger Management for Everyone is an engaging, practical, educational, accessible, and inspirational resource for everyday people who struggle with anger issues, or health professionals working in this area. With years of clinical wisdom and evidence-informed interventions distilled within this second expanded edition, readers will learn to better understand the nature and dynamics of their own anger, and how to effectively harness and manage it through a suite of practical interventions to move on to more satisfying, and less angry, lives. Compelling, compassionate, and relatable, the book’s generous use of case anecdotes illustrates core concepts while a suite of practice exercises helps readers put these into action.” —Mark E. Olver, PhD, registered doctoral psychologist, professor in the department of psychology at the University of Saskatchewan, and associate editor of Sexual Abuse and Criminal Justice and Behavior (Mark E. Olver, PhD)“Tafrate and Kassinove, world leaders in treatment and research for anger, have done the public a tremendous service with this book. Whether you have found that you have serious anger problems, or just experience ordinary levels of irritability, Anger Management for Everyone covers strategies to help people address the core problems that lead to anger, leading to more fulfilling lives and interpersonal experiences. Practical and highly accessible, the book integrates the latest research findings with direct methods that can be applied immediately after reading the book. I recommend it highly to everyone.” —Dean McKay, PhD, ABPP, professor in the department of psychology at Fordham University, past president of the Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies, and past president of the Society for a Science of Clinical Psychology (Dean McKay, PhD, ABPP)

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About the Author

Raymond Chip Tafrate, PhD, is a clinical psychologist and professor in the criminology and criminal justice department at Central Connecticut State University. He is a fellow and supervisor at the Albert Ellis Institute in New York City, NY, and a member of the Motivational Interviewing Network of Trainers. He frequently consults with criminal justice agencies and programs regarding difficult-to-change problems such as anger dysregulation and criminal behavior. He has coauthored numerous books, and has presented his research throughout North America, Europe, Asia, and Australia.Howard Kassinove, PhD, ABPP, is a board-certified clinical psychologist, former chairperson of the psychology department at Hofstra University, and past director of their PhD program in clinical and school psychology. Kassinove is a fellow of the American Psychological Association, the American Psychological Society, the Albert Ellis Institute, and the Behavior Therapy and Research Society. The editor of Anger Disorders, he has published more than sixty papers, and has lectured widely in the United States, Europe, and Asia. Foreword writer Matthew McKay, PhD, is a professor at the Wright Institute in Berkeley, CA. He has authored and coauthored numerous books, including The Relaxation and Stress Reduction Workbook, Self-Esteem, Thoughts and Feelings, and more. McKay received his PhD in clinical psychology from the California School of Professional Psychology, and specializes in the cognitive behavioral treatment of anxiety and depression. He lives and works in the greater San Francisco Bay Area.

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Product details

Paperback: 256 pages

Publisher: Impact; Second Edition, Revised edition (January 2, 2019)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 1684032261

ISBN-13: 978-1684032266

Product Dimensions:

6 x 0.6 x 9 inches

Shipping Weight: 12.3 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)

Average Customer Review:

4.2 out of 5 stars

66 customer reviews

Amazon Best Sellers Rank:

#191,487 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

This book is the best of its kind on the market. I am a psychologist who has worked for years in both the business and clinical realm. I have often had the challenge of coaching executives whose career has been stymied because of their anger and aggression, managers who are neither liked nor respected but feared because of their reactions, and employees who are on the cusp of losing their jobs because they lack the understanding and/or motivation to take responsibility for their angry responses. Historically, in all these cases, I had been forced to cobble together information from different sources in an effort to educate and support my clients; this book changes the playing field. This is the first book I have found that offers a comprehensive approach to changing one's anger responses, from offering a substantial education on the basics of anger, to a strong discussion on change readiness, to its 7 proven ways to change anger and ultimately living a happier life, this book has been long awaited and is a welcomed addition to anyone who has worked with angry people. Moreover, it is a gift to those people who have had difficulty managing their own anger. Whether they are currently aware of how their anger affects them and others around them, this book is an excellent tool to make them aware and create the opportunity to create change.One of the strongest facets of this book is its structure. It is broken down into 3 parts, each part containing various chapters that provide important information in easily consumed sections.Part I: Anger Basics. This section is among the clearest most concise and comprehendible reviews of anger and is broken down into 3 chapters.Chapter 1: Anger 101: Common Questions and Answers. In this chapter the strength and vast experience of both authors is communicated on this subject. The strongest parts of this chapter lie in the snippet examples used to illustrate different anger scenarios and the simple distinction made between anger and aggression. The latter is a distinction often difficult to communicate to some people with anger problems, it is well communicated here and certain to create awareness in those who have been unable to previously make this distinction.Chapter 2: Understanding Anger Episodes. This chapter begins with another snippet illustrating and anger episode and then offers a very strong structure for analyzing anger episodes. They offer a model that has proven to be effective, but the hidden treasure in this chapter is the author's Anger Thermometer. I have often had difficulty working with angry people who can only express their angry experiences as anger, without applying any distinction to matter of degree. This tool is an innovative way for people who have difficulty with anger to become more aware and be better able to define their experience of anger, a critical factor in remediating any anger issue.Chapter 3: Are You Ready To Change. This is a unique chapter in anger management books. It is particularly strong in its structured progressive approach to having the reader consider the benefits of changing their angry responses, bringing the reader to a necessary level of commitment to create change.Part II: Seven Proven Ways to Control Anger. The seven chapters in this section identify strategies and tactics, as well as give specific examples on how readers can better control their anger.Chapter 4: Avoid and Escape. This chapter starts with a strong call to the reader to consider specific ways in which they respond to certain events. They then delve into a variety of examples of how the reader can practice Avoidance and Escape in a healthy, productive, and successful way, while creating solutions for the problems that trigger anger and frustration.Chapter 5: Find New Solutions to Social Problems. This chapter has a nicely written opening calling on the reader to consider their own perspective on challenges, struggles, and how one grows throughout his/her life. It continues by referring to literature that clearly defines social problem solving styles, and closes with an effective illustration of a traditional problem solving approach to anger management. Here again, the snippets and illustrative examples in this chapter make the concepts readily accessible to the reader, as is the case throughout the book.Chapter 6: Change the Way You Think about Your Life. Cognitive Psychology forms the backbone of this chapter. This should not at all be surprising given the background of the authors. Here they have provided a means for the reader to identify 6 types of thinking errors, offered a 4-step process in how to go about changing one's anger provoking thoughts.Chapter 7: Forgiveness. This is a particularly unique chapter in this book and is among the strongest in this book. With this chapter the authors have really hit-their-stride. They offer powerful examples of unforgiving and forgiving responses; compare and contrast forgiveness from a secular and religious perspective; and finally, offer a creative step-by-step process on how the reader can practice and achieve forgiveness. The closing snippet of this chapter is a particularly robust example of the power of forgiveness. It should be read and seriously considered by anyone who is stuck holding a grudge or who believes doing so is desirable.Chapter 8: Learn to Relax. No book on managing anger would be complete without a chapter on relaxation and its importance in the face of anger provoking situations. This chapter explains the importance of relaxation, gives specific detailed direction on how to make a relaxation tape, then offers 10 alternatives to progressive muscle relaxation. It's a well written chapter that reminds us that no matter what technique we may choose to use, learning to relax in emotionally charged situations is a requisite skill to be successful in our lives.Chapter 9: Expose Yourself and Reach Less. For some people, exposure can be a tricky proposition, particularly when not assisted by a trained professional. In this chapter, the authors have elegantly addressed when exposure should and should not be considered. They offer specific steps on how the reader can create an exposure experience in imagination, through hearing verbal barb statements, and in real life.Chapter 10: Express Your Anger in an Assertive, Productive Way. This is another one of the strongest chapters in this book. Reading this chapter is like walking down a path with well-marked signs along the way. You don't have to worry about getting lost or missing a turn because the authors keep you well informed every step of the way. I particularly liked the author's formulation of assertive, verbally aggressive, and unassertive responses. The reader also receives valuable instruction through the explanation that assertiveness as well as the acknowledgment that assertiveness doesn't guarantee a particular outcome, it does however increase the probability of a more desirable result. Finally, acknowledgement that assertiveness is to be practiced as a lifestyle gives readers a real feel that they have a chance to change their lives.Part III: Other Issues. This final section includes two chapters that can be seen as follow up and maintenance steps for readers.Chapter 11: What If I Still Get Angry? This is an important chapter that provides a self-assessment, an analysis of factors that may limit one's progress, and a list of alternative resources where readers can find additional help. The chapter is brief and content rich.Chapter 12: Live a Happier Life. This is an excellent chapter to help the reader move beyond anger reduction alone. It is an abridged summary of what is offered from Positive Psychology. In keeping with the all the previous chapters, it offers 9 specific and detailed steps to lead a happier, more fulfilling life.This book should be considered a must read for anyone who has ever had issues with anger or anger management. It would likely be helpful to those people with partners or family members with anger issues, as well as therapists who would like to offer their clients concrete and specific guidelines on how to better manage anger. It is well written, clear, instructive, and offers information in a well thought out format, unlike many books in this genre, and offers a structure that can easily be applied. This book is a standout in the self-improvement genre. I recommend it without reservation.Gustavo R. Grodnitky, Ph.D.

I like their scientific approach which is not too much of opinionated but stick to the facts and sci-evidences. I am not intending to finish reading in rush. Because this book is supposed to be my life-time companion for almost constant practice. Grateful to the authors.

Great book that's easy to read and contains some wonderful tips on controlling and understanding anger. I really enjoyed the 2nd half of the book with the more in depth info. I suggest buying this along with Anger Control Workbook or The Anger Workbook

I bought this for a family member and decided to read it first. I found it incredibly helpful and thought provoking. I highly recommend this to anyone who has ever thought about better understanding their anger....the causes and what they can do about it.

I highly recommended this for anyone with anger issues. It was simple to read, the pages have large font, it has a lot of exercises and pages to copy to use it as a workbook. It even has relaxation techniques. I found it practical, easy to follow, and helpful.

This book has helped me identify my anger patterns and find the best solution to help me improve my reaction to these triggers. I just finished the book and am already noticing a difference in my stress levels.

Good read if you wanna help people who have anger problems

Tafrate gives some practical advice and some good ideas to try when your anger seems to get the best of you. My daughter was able to use some of the information for her teen age son.

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